my friends, right now i'm in trouble... i wanna say my life mess enough... don't add more problems.... lol (actually, i'm trying to laugh)

Before songkran festival my dad told me that my aunty asked to rent the house that i bought, cuz she and her family (her husband, a daughter and a niece) had no place to stay. She lost her 2 houses cuz she got the loan from the bank and had no money to pay back... (crazy?) her daughter couldn't make much money for her as well.

Think about the rental, i don't think she has money to pay me at all. plus i don't think she has money to pay for the water and electric service, and i pay it from my bank account.. Which means i have to let them stay in my place for free plus i have to pay for the services for them too...

Think about the future, if i wanna use that house for no matter what reason. It's not easy to ask them to find the new place for sure.

My dad really wanted to help his sister, so he asked me and my mom to do another plan...

plan A : let them stay in my mom's place and we stay in my place

my answer is

"no way" Bangbuathong is very far from my workplace and there is no skytrain or subway train...i don't wanna wake up at 4 am everyday for going to work na..

plan B : let them stay in my mom's place with me. My dad and mom will move to Bangbuathong (my place)

my answer is

"no way" i can't live with them, i can't take care of them... and if that they have to live in big room and i just have my small room only... **** how about food.. i like my dad n' mom cooking... who gonna take care of my cloths i can't do.. i have 3 uniforms / week which means someone have to wash them and iron them for me everyday.

Then i went to the house in Bangbuathong and made up my mind to speak with my dad and mom to sort it out...

I said my mom's place is our present.. and my place is our future i can't let them to anyone else... i can't

if i deny to let the house rent (actually let them live for free) right now = i'm a mean girl

if i let them live in my place right now

= i'm an angel

but if one day i need the house and ask them to find the new place

= i'm a mean girl + lose my house

so the decision is "i wanna be a mean girl for today"

My dad mad at me for a while...i tried to explain what i think, and i'm not sure he understand.

After that, i told my dad and mom that i bought the plane tickets to Phuket, my dad complaint about me again... and then i told him about i had to take a trip to Chantaburi.... the day i went to Chantaburi, my aunty asked him for the money that i gave her every year but this year i didn't give her any...

I quite shock, ok i did gave her every year but not that much..just 1000 baht as a gift.. i gave her cuz i had. Tell u the truth i spent my money for travelling and my education and my car... i think i have a right to do that... my money, i work for that i have a right to spend it the way i want to...

If my dad and mom asked me for the money like that i wouldn't say anything just feel sorry that i forgot to do my duty. but who is she? she never grow me up, she never feed me.. never give me anything. How dare she said like that..

I told my dad that i was not ready to give money to anyone, i'm not broke but i have my plan already...

My dad doesn't wanna speak with me lately, i knew he mad at me..cuz he needs me to help his sister. Well, i'm a cruel, mean girl in ppl eyes..

i couldn't sleep well at night always have nightmare..hrrrrrrrr...

i really don't know what to do about this situation.. the next semester will comes soon.. i have to pay a lot for the registration..hrrrrrrrrrr àº×èÃâÇéÂ!!!

hope i can sort it out one day...

Just do whatever you think is right and don't worry much about others thinking you're cruel or whatever. These ppl ain't your immediate family, they have no right to demand anything from you. Helping when you can is okay, but this is a bit over the top IMHO.

Seems they were not responsible for their own house. So now they want yours. Seems a shame to use culture to tahe advantage. Your not mean just sensible !!

I agree with wallace !! I think they are the mean ones for making you feel bad !! you ok in my book Nueng !!!

find someone to rent the house...that is...find someone who is willing to actually "pay" to live there.....then perhaps the aunt, who as you say has no money to pay, can't hold it against you. If however, she suddenly becomes ricvh enough to also pay rent....voila! problem solved

.. Wow.. N' 1 a rich good girl.. :-)

.. honestly i also do not know what to do if that happen to me.. what come up in my mind now is the auntie and her family must find somewhere else to live not yours place, you work hard to have it for yourself satisfaction not for other to grap it away ..

I'm more impressed with all you guys for taking time out to help her in this situation.

Anyways, as for you girl, you have already made a decision and u should stand for it. I agree with sofaraway that you can still help them in small ways that you feel free of doing. Still try talk to your dad and both of you can think of ways to help your aunt's family. Explain to him nicely that you have your own priorities in life.

cheer up!

These relatives of yours are trying to take advantage of you and make you pay for their stupidity and mistakes. They speculated on real estate by buying two houses - and they lost. (I just wonder: If they had made money on their speculation, would they have shared it with you? I didn't think so.)

There problems are not your problems - unless you let them become so. JUST SAY NO. If you say no, what's the worst that can happen? You'll lose contact with people who are trying to take advantage of you. Not such a big loss, right?

People can only take advantage of you if you let them. Don't worry if they think you are being selfish - because they are being even more selfish to expect other people (i.e. -YOU) to take care of them. (In fact, ask them if they can wash your clothes and cook for you if you live together in your house. Then you will see who is being selfish.)

Good luck, and I hope you do the right thing.

What a suck situation! You have given it a lot of thought, and I agree that you have done the right thing.

Your Father's Sister and her family must be responsible for the bad decisions they have taken, even if it means some hardship. It is unfair and goes beyond family obligation for them to burden you so heavily I think.

YOU GO GIRL!!!

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I understand !

I know they r relative but but but! wot abt when ur guy come to visit *rolling eyes* lol..

thks everyone.. for understanding and encourage me...

damn i can't get it out of my head...

this morning i looked at the mirror i saw 2 gray hair.... T_T áÂèÃÒ¡æ

it's never easy when it comes to family matter. My mom has been through quite similar situation but she eventually decided to be somewhat a mean girl as well.

We can't save the world, u know. We all have to make a living.

Take it easy na ka. All the best for u ka! *hug*

It's a bad situation, not ur fault. I agree with wallace, you're taking it with western attitude but it looks to be a logi thing to do for you...help them, if you can. If you cannot, there will be another solution. Good luck

This is a classic situation in family matters.

I don't think you are mean... i just think you don't let people walk over you. You are not silly and understand the situation and what would happen.

It must have been hard/difficult , though expressing your heart felt answer is always better then living a lie--- you would have lost more then your house....

PS. wisdom is never a "easy street" ;-)

If your dad wants you to help his sister (your aunt), why is he part of the problem and not part of the solution? What could he do to help besides handing the problem to you?

As much as you've thought already, I think you have to find a solution that is win-win for all, and it will probably involve more people than just you and your aunt and your dad.

If your aunt and her family can't make enough to pay you rent, how can you help them to FIND a way to make enough? You know, sometimes it isn't because people don't try, they just don't know what to do or how to do it! Can you teach her a skill or at least some marketing concepts?

I don't envy you, Neung. But I don't think you're out of answers yet.

Ahhh Khun_Lung, so sweet :-) That's nice. Looking for win-win sounds like a great idea to me too :-)

Good luck with it neung :-)

my story is my mum who not involved in raising me up after i was 3 months old is the one who kind of asking me for some money when my aunt who is always give, give and giving me for whole life never ask for her right..

I just automatically compare between these two persons, im so glad I got my aunt.. and never live with my mum, else i would be die of boredom... just 5 minutes on fone with my mum,, that got me grrrrrrrrrrr already...

if ur dad wanna help better find her another place, maybe pay for rental for her.. it might be an okay place for THB3-4000 or even cheaper and you dont have to take a risk with your own house..

Impressive Neung, now u start thinking and acting more like a western now ...

<<< actually we thai just love to help each other but not in the right way.. to give anything for free, it will spoiled them.. and they will never learn to take responsibility.. you can start teaching them by let them stand on their own feet..

I like western culture more when parents will ask their kids to pay rental if living with them, that will start they to learn word "responsibility" early... opposite with Thai..

ditch the *****

Some ideas, I hope it can help:

Give a fish to someone is good, but teach him/her how to fish is better.

If you let them enter your house, forget it, you?ve definitively gave it to them. Can?t you rent something for them, like that you keep your freedom?

Parents pay for and support their children but THEY decide what to do with the money they earn, not the supported ones.

I like and respect Thai way to feel solidarity between generations (my farang culture has lost it), but I don?t when there is no more respect towards the younger ones.

I understand when your father asks you to help the situation, I cannot when he gets angry at you because you don?t do exactly what he wants. Lack of respect.

One of the things I like in my farang culture is the idea (unfortunately, not often reality) that the parents have to respect their children (I regret that the price to pay was to forget so many things I learn now from Thai culture).

You?ve got only one life. Helping is great, sacrificing your life is another thing.