i'm soon about to marry.. for sure i will get head ache if i found this kind of matter.. now i know how hard being a parent..lol anyway hope you find the best solution for your son.. good luck :-)

Sounds like you must be a pretty good dad since you are so bothered by his actions. Take it easy on him. Feel lucky the other kid is old school. As I am sure you know kids now take out weapons all the time to settle their differences rather than fight it out with fists after school. Maybe this is the message to tell your son so he thinks harder next time before letting the fists fly.

If he were my kid, I wouldn't condone violence, no matter what the reason, because he will grow up thinking it's ok to punch people up whenever he is bugged (men or women). Beating another child up to that extent is pretty serious and if it were me, he'd get punished for it - no matter what his reasons for doing it were. There are better ways for him to show that he won't take ****.

Not parenting advice (seeing as I have no children)...just my take on your situation.

Yeah but often, a child may not be mature enough to know when a beating is the only course of action available to him. Saying that it's ok to hit as long as the person deserves it can seriously warp a kid's view on what 'deserves it' actually means.

I would not encourage a kid to be a wuss and sit it all out, but there are better ways to stand up for yourself.

this sort of thing is inevitable in grade school. it will continue through high school. has more to do with the school environment and the age of the boys

no offense to princess, but only a) a woman and someone with no experience or knowledge of US public schools could say "i wouldn't condone violence, no matter what the reason." there are times when as a young boy you either punch someone in the face or they punch you in the face. and if they punch you in the face, they will continue to do so for as long as you let them. not to say you have to condone the violence either, just that it's not a matter of him having a bad disposition---its a matter of him being a boy in US public school

i think as adults we sink into denial about how violent growing up is. fortunately most of the time it is more for show than for real, but these days kids seem more likely to take it to another level (remember columbine?) boy are violent, it's a fact of life come on guys can any of you tell honestly me you dont remember the first guy you dropped better than the first time you got laid (although maybe in my case that has more to do with how ugly the neighbor's babysitter was).

There is NO clear cut solution here. There are several things at work here.

1. This is a single incident....what is the history behind it

2. Derwin's son is still a boy He is still finding out about himself.

3. Some times when we get to a point where enought IS enough, violence maybe required.

4. Violence IS a tool to be used, Some times the hard part is reqcognising when its required.

For those of you who have not had to use it count yourselvesss very LUCKY. I hope you never have to

but I dont like your chances. Sad but true. DDerwin's son will survive and learn from this.

Just Remember, "Talking the talk" dont always work. Sometime your fists have to talk for you.

Actually, both public and private schools in India and Dubai are pretty bad too - some of those kids are just merciless. I will admit that it is somewhat easier to be a girl but only a little - women are abusive in their own ways and I understand perfectly the concept of being either perp or victim.

I also have a 16 year old brother who has gotten into plenty of fights, but to my knowledge, has never beaten anyone up. He doesn't get into fights and if anything, he has more friends than most of the boys in his class. Granted, the fact that he is 6', built of pure muscle with not a drop of fat on him might help but I know he has problems with some of the other kids. He just doesn't hit...growing up, he's seen what that leads to.

I still say violence is not the best alternative when someone annoys the crap out of you...after all...I've never punched you or 2unique now have I?

I am a product of the U.S. public school system and I do have to side with Princess. I was in a fight only once in my life and that was in middle school gym class where the class bully had been taunting me for several days. He finally threw a punch and missed and I countered and KO'd him. It was just a lucky punch, believe me. I'd rather have avoided that incident but under certain circumstances self-defense is inevitable.

Consider yourself lucky......

I have agreat 7 year old daughter who was picked on by three girls in the playground

at her last school...she is a blue belt in Tae Kwan Doe....she broke one arm, two jaws and two sets of ribs.....

We had to change schools.......as the eye witnesses said.....she had no choice...she was the subject of an unprovoked attack by some older school bullies who torment many kids at the school.....sorry....used to torment many kids at the school....

I had nothing to say to my daughter......she is calm and well mannered.....

I spoke to the parents of the attackers and explained their children were very lucky to sustain such minor injuries....it could have been worse and they were risking their limbs by behaving like so....

Your son only defended himself bro......so would you......

I'm sorry I meant to say "he doesn't get into fist fights" not "he doesn't get into fights"

I just noticed that mistake.

Yes, I agree with all of you and I actually do not support violence of anyone. Standing tall and refusing to fight might be good ways to avoid bullying. Sometimes, however, bullies will not let you go even though you show them you are serious and you don't want to fight. Since last night I thought it out...

My son, me, and the kids parents actually have a sit down and see what's the deal, why are these two fighting and caryying on like this?, how long has this been going on, and how to squash it before it gets out of hand.

For the record, I'm NOT punish my son for defnding himself. I'm sure most of you would do the same thing.

Jeff's comments are on the "up and up" the after school fights in the USA are brutal!. Go to a website and you'll see kids getting the snot beat out of em(PSfights.com)....Yeah even here in good ol loving, peaceful Thailand!

By the way, look at the avatar, He's now 5"7, lean built, and weighs 155LBS....Lord help me!

Well I think my bro is probably about the same age as your son. I'm not sure though but anyway, he's got the same problem at school. My mom always called and told me that my bro got punched in the face again. I'm pretty sure hes not the type of person who would start any fighting! However, I try to accept that this is very common in most school and boy life?! My mom even thought about moving to a new school. To me, it would leave to my bro's decision whether he wants to stay in this school or move to a new school. I would agree with you that i would never let anyone giving any **** to my bro too! He needs to stand up for himself.