I read kennyke's journal entry of funny quotes and got inspired to put up some of my favs.

• When I was young I used to pray for a bike. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

• If there is one thing I know about women, it's that you should never laugh until you absolutely -- I repeat, absolutely -- know that they're joking.

• Sometimes the voices in my head tell me to do bad things. Other times they just say, "Man, these fries would be good with ketchup!"

• Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he will believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

• If your parents didn't have any children, neither will you.

• I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."

• When you're ten years old, and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try and go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again.

• I think the biggest mistake I ever made in my life was not eating all of that guy's pie instead of just half of it, because he was in the rest room for at least another two or three minutes.

• Nobody is a social drinker. Everybody drinks to get drunk. I mean, nobody drinks 10 pints of coke in a night.

• If getting there is half the fun then you're having a pretty bad holiday.

hehe good....thx for sharing