Gentlemen, this list is a warning. If you find yourself beginning to think any of the below it may already be too late. "Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend." 

"Does this tie make me look stupid?""No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!"

"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out.""No, but taking it *off* sure does.""Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make.""Not if you were travelling at the speed of light." 

"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity." 

"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity." - made me laugh

Its time to shoot for equal treatment, so YES it does make you look fat, because your gaining weight honey. Would be the most fair answer. lol