I think it is good that you know your weak point. We are working is not for only the money but we are living for being a better person . Enjoy your life and do the best each day..so no regret. If one day you are not working with your team but you will be appreciated with yourself. (It is just my way.)

i don't really get it.. u are not being laid off but u're laying yourself off because u feel guilty for not having worked hard enough?

remember when u went to the interview for this job.. u were excited that they even called u for the interview and u came back with anticipation.

remember how happy u were when u first got the job. do something about it and don't let your lazniess overcome u.

You are not a loser at all, but you are not confident enough! If you are having a fight with yourself all of the time then better be a bit more possitive about yourself or increase your productivity target whatsoever.. In general I think we can all work harder, quicker, better, faster, but it cN make us burn out as well!

Sometimes we should be satisfied with working enough... 'Enough' would be described as a reasonable amount of work, which you can prolongue for a long time without feeling to much stress. It's a bit weird that you always feel stressed and never satisfied with yourself. Consider if it is really true that you ought to work harder! Maybe it's just only in your mind... Take care... I reckon you need a holiday instead!!!

I hear you Juri.. will considering about that but for sure no holidays as we're very tight now.

Lur.... I'm wondering who you are.. sound like we know each other.

I can feel your stresses Oiy.. i m a person who dont like anyone (even direct boss ) keep telling me doin this doin that ( being a secretary is hard to avoid though ) but , for me, boss can say what he wants ( assignment ) but cant tell me what to do.. he must rely on my creativities..(lolz, he was the one who hired me at first place ..lolz )

I think besides from you keep blame yourself workin lower performance, you better bring out the best in you. if anyone (boss) still complian you can defense them back that you did your best. !

I have never been in a situation like this. But I think it is wise to look for a new job. I don't mean that boss gonna sack you, but a confidence in a workplace is very important too.

If they let you go they have to pay you a leaving package no?

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

Don't judge life by one difficult season.

Persevere through the difficult patches

and better times are sure to come some time or later.

Yes a package.... Salary*14/12 multiply with working period (year).. One who left has been working here for over 30 years.. she got minimum a million (Manager level). So I dont see how it gonna safe any cost?

However, this package thing is not applicable to me tho' otherwise I would volunteer myself..

I'd easily decide to quit if I dont like my job but I love it. The problem is I dont think Im good enough and right now I think my team need someone who is really sufficient. I could be, if I try harder and I was telling myself I should be trying harder to prove to myself that I really could be since new year but now I see that I still not improve.

I wont leave suddenly.... Not in a month. I told myself to try harder again from now on, lets see after a month. Once in a while I will just suddenly pissed off with what my kinda boss said even he's usually always like this ages ago. I guess I'd say its a PMS!

YEP! It would be fun to learn something new in other organization... but there are many things in this Org. that I can learn too plus seem I have got new assignment already just no one tel me what exactly it is yet. 2 staffs less now so we need to do some re-structuring.

One more thing is on friday I was in very late coz I couldn't get outta my bed, woke up at 10.30 coz my office rang me and I dont have any good reason to be late apart from I went to bed late and woke up late. I'd just call sick if I wake up late like that but I dont want to this time and I shouldn't as we got less staffs now.. Last year, once a month that I called sick coz of wake up very late... I never be really sick till I have to take a day off, maybe once. My leave record looks terrible!! Now it's more reasonable to say that Im not in good performance?

Why I have to declare how bad I am? hehe~ Well, we always can be better... so I think I will just show my best then.. sound better now?

The boss is the boss and in our daily mode as a worker we are no longer angels or valuable workers,skilled or unskilled and that makes us robot like.

My advice is stop thinking to much about your performance and take instructions from the bosses and just do what they instruct you to do,or other wise quite and have no pay packet.

Surely where ever you work same situation,a work place on a normal scale is what you make it! Unless your superiors are all bad eggs.

"due to my own laziness".........

definitely stay. It is very emotional to see your friends/co-workers leave. Everyone feels this way, but at least you are still getting paid.

It is so much crap they way it is decided where cuts will be made. Mgt never thinks about this, they just say we need to cut X people. The problem is they don't cut the excess capacity, they just cut for the sake of cutting. Then people end up doing two or three peoples jobs and those A holes at the top don't work any harder. It really pisses me off. If mgt mad the right decisions in the first place layoffs this way would not have to happen, yet mgt never blames themselves.

Many expense cuts.. everything need to go to country manager and another one from regional. You've got a point there.. The management that made decision on this is NY...everything actually happened in NY too..

One thing, if there is any more cuts... seems the target will be senior ones only.. but it will happened maybe after a month or after Q1.

Never Never give up, all this turmoil will pass quickly and you should still be there, in a company that has survived worse things before. Don;t let yourself be emotional now and lead to a bad decision, whatever happens you will be stronger when this is over, and I mean don;t leave....

Not leave yet.... will fight for a lil longer.. to make sure Im that suck! lol