Jump to content
  • entries
    130
  • comments
    0
  • views
    3460

Nipple Quibble

smartass

Entry posted by smartass ·

187 views

 Share

Recently after performing on a stage, attempting 'comedy', I asked a couple of male buddies in the class for some feedback. Feedback was thus: "Can't tell you much dude. Didn't hear a word you said as I was staring at your erect nipples the whole time." Now whilst I didn't appreciate the objectification (well maybe a little bit), I did appreciate the frank discussion that followed. Ladies, this just in: apparently men are concerned when nipples aren't in their erect state ...

Boy 1: It really puts me off when ladies' nipples go flaccid.

Boy 2: Yeah man. I worried I'm not doing my job when even the nipples lose interest.

Girl 1: Boys, boys, boys. You needn't worry. Nipple erectness is not an adequate indicator of sexual pleasure. It could merely mean it's a warm room.

Universe: I am going to implode right now as you have just blown wide open everything I thought I knew about, well, me. First of all, and not to sound too Seinfeldian, but what's the deal with men and nipples? Correct me if I'm wrong ladies, but unless you have weirdy ones, we don't really focus on that area of our bodies. There's no maintenance involved with them, you can't do much with them (milking and sustaining another human being's life aside), and here's the shocker of all shockers guys: they aren't in fact that sensitive. Yes it is true they can detect subtle changes in temperature (and for some women, seismic changes in the earth's mantle core) however, I'll say it again: nipples aren't that sensitive. Insult 'em. Call 'em names (insert nipple joke here). They don't care. What's more, most women could care less about what you're doing with them. It's what's goin' on down south that counts. You are unlikely to ever hear the following conversation between women: Girl 1: So how was last night with Mr. X?

Girl 2: Well he had a terribly small penis and the sex was disastrous but that's okay because his attention to my nipples was outstanding!

Girl 1: Lucky you!

Girl 2: Indeed. A lot of women (myself included) also find too much nip action annoying, and sometimes rather unsettling. Looking down seeing a grown man suckling at your teat is waaaaaaay too maternal and barnyard-like an image when you're gettin' it on. And no woman wants to feel like a heffer when she's gettin' it on. I'm a little concerned with the predilection men have for the nip these days. When once cunnilingus used to be the badge of pride amongst men, now it seems it's the poor cousin to her two ugly stepsisters. And I'm not talking high school grope action. I'm talking suckling of teat. Step away from the nips right now. KAREN FANTANA

Vice Magazine 

 Share

0 Comments

Recommended Comments

smartass

Recently after performing on a stage, attempting 'comedy', I asked a couple of male buddies in the class for some feedback. Feedback was thus: "Can't tell you much dude. Didn't hear a word you said as I was staring at your erect nipples the whole time." Now whilst I didn't appreciate the objectification (well maybe a little bit), I did appreciate the frank discussion that followed. Ladies, this just in: apparently men are concerned when nipples aren't in their erect state ...

Boy 1: It really puts me off when ladies' nipples go flaccid.

Boy 2: Yeah man. I worried I'm not doing my job when even the nipples lose interest.

Girl 1: Boys, boys, boys. You needn't worry. Nipple erectness is not an adequate indicator of sexual pleasure. It could merely mean it's a warm room.

Universe: I am going to implode right now as you have just blown wide open everything I thought I knew about, well, me. First of all, and not to sound too Seinfeldian, but what's the deal with men and nipples? Correct me if I'm wrong ladies, but unless you have weirdy ones, we don't really focus on that area of our bodies. There's no maintenance involved with them, you can't do much with them (milking and sustaining another human being's life aside), and here's the shocker of all shockers guys: they aren't in fact that sensitive. Yes it is true they can detect subtle changes in temperature (and for some women, seismic changes in the earth's mantle core) however, I'll say it again: nipples aren't that sensitive. Insult 'em. Call 'em names (insert nipple joke here). They don't care. What's more, most women could care less about what you're doing with them. It's what's goin' on down south that counts. You are unlikely to ever hear the following conversation between women: Girl 1: So how was last night with Mr. X?

Girl 2: Well he had a terribly small penis and the sex was disastrous but that's okay because his attention to my nipples was outstanding!

Girl 1: Lucky you!

Girl 2: Indeed. A lot of women (myself included) also find too much nip action annoying, and sometimes rather unsettling. Looking down seeing a grown man suckling at your teat is waaaaaaay too maternal and barnyard-like an image when you're gettin' it on. And no woman wants to feel like a heffer when she's gettin' it on. I'm a little concerned with the predilection men have for the nip these days. When once cunnilingus used to be the badge of pride amongst men, now it seems it's the poor cousin to her two ugly stepsisters. And I'm not talking high school grope action. I'm talking suckling of teat. Step away from the nips right now. KAREN FANTANA

Vice Magazine 

Link to comment
Mazzy

And all that time before I got to the end of the text, I thought the story actually happened to you... tease! :lol:

Getting back to the topic...I agree with Punisher. All kinds of nipples in the world...All kinds of ways to pleasure a woman...Just got to press the right button (or nipple?).

Link to comment
smartass

hahaha! well, you know guys, there is not only the fake "O"....just a thought ;p

but the idea of having the TF NST is totally a good idea. i would volunteer for a fake NS detector.

Link to comment
paulgh3rd

agree all nipples are not created equal and I have given a cpl women actual orgasms from their nip's and others thrive on nip play from soft to extremely rough bitting, pinching to the point they hurt the next day.... smartass being extremely orally fixated and not a breast man if you want more attentio downtown tell us and we'll happily oblige!

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...