Hey, you must've been doin' 125 mph to keep up with me!

Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Hi, officer. Do you mind holding my beer while I find my license?

I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer.

You know, I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Didn't I see you get your butt kicked last week on "Cops?"

Wow, you look like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend's bed.

I bet you I can grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.

So, you on the take, or what?

Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

What do you mean have I been drinking? You're the trained specialist.

I swear to drunk oossifer im not god !!