So here are some ‘real-life’ and ‘unedited quips’ from the complaints and responses founds in the problem sheets filled by the captains and technicians of Qantas.

Key:  P: Problem logged in by the captain.

         S: Solution provided by the technicians

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level ..

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That’s what they’re there for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

lol, hmmm thats our safety they are joking about

It isnt funny anymore when pilots do not speak English as international aviation standard:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6e7HSeq3OY

http://www.chinese-tools.com/forum/read.html?q=16%2C9051%2C25826%23msg-25826

Reading the statements, there really are a few people who demand, that American tower staff should learn chinese or other languages. How ridiculous ! It would be not only a babylonian language confusion. There would be helluva accidents and crashes..thanks god there is at least one international standard and a language we all can use for communication worldwide.

I have seen what happens when a Pilot cant speak English while landing He missed the runway by 400 feet. Kinda makes you wonder why the company hired him to fly international flights.

Its not just the Chinese pilots, I have heard similar exchanges between pilots and ATC from other countries as well. Korean Air for example. Scary stuff. That guy never should have been allowed to fly international.

of course its not just the Chinese pilots, but it was the first incident I remembered when I read the journal.

International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO) sets the Safety Regulation for Personnel Licensing.

"As from 5 March 2008 all pilots, aeronautical station (radio) operators and air traffic controllers shall demonstrate the ability to speak and understand the langauge used for radiotelephony communications to the level specified in the language proficiency requirements of ICAO documentation. The minimum level that must be achieved by this group is Operational level 4"

which means all holders of such licences need to have the Language Proficiency endorsement included.

... so the standard qualification is higher....

please feel relievable : )