In the current econmic climate, competition in the workplace has never been fiercer. Lax practices at work that were previously acceptable could now be the reason you have to clear your desk. With this in mind, here is a handy list of 13 alternative sayings for the more belligerent employee. <<author's note; please do not try this process with Ciaran as lack of profanity may make his head explode>>

    1. Try Saying: I think you could do with more training Instead Of: You don't have a f*cking clue, do you? 2. Try Saying: She's an aggressive go-getter. Instead Of: She's a f*cking power-crazy b*tch  3. Try Saying: Perhaps I can work late Instead Of: And when the f*ck do you expect me to do this?  4. Try Saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible Instead Of: F*ck off arse-wipe   5. Try Saying: Really? Instead Of: Well f*ck me backwards with a telegraph pole  6. Try Saying: Perhaps you should check with... Instead Of: Tell someone who gives a f*ck.  7. Try Saying: I wasn't involved in the project. Instead Of: Not my f*cking problem, mate.  8. Try Saying: That's interesting. Instead Of: What the f*ck?   9. Try Saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale. Instead Of: No f*cking chance mate.  10. Try Saying: It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in Instead Of: Why the f*ck didn't you tell me that yesterday?  11. Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues Instead Of: He's got his head up his f*cking arse.   12. Try Saying: Excuse me, sir? Instead Of: Oi, f*ckface.   13. Try Saying: Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway Instead Of: Yeah, who needs f*cking holidays anyway.

I vote for Ciaran.

i'm self employed...with good reason!

The telegraph pole will work for C

admin, in the event of a tie, all second preference Ciaran votes will be transferred to...

Garlic - do you swear at yourself a lot?

Gee - if there was a TF swear box at every TF event, Ciaran could raise tens of thousands of baht every year for TF charities...

By golly, f*ck me sideways before being spit-roasted. 8)))

You find a transcript from one of his old job interviews ??

11. Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues

have you had a good look at this one....might take further analysis

Wot da f.........k

i m lucky because i have own businness (garden man) ..... :-)

med - well these will come in handy for talking to the plants then!!

Oiy - no, the correct term would be 'now that is a new one on me'

Ngairo - No idea what you mean? Explain!