Ghost **** - That's the kind where you feel the **** come out, have **** on the toilet paper, but there is no **** in the toilet.  Clean **** -the kind where you **** it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Second Wave ****-  It happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to **** some more. Brain Hemorrage **** Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " ****. - the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke. Sweetcorn **** - Self Explanatory Log **** -  the kind of **** that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush Drinkers ****  - That is the kind of **** that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet . "Gee I wish I could ****" **** - Its the kind of **** where you want to ****, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times. Spinal Tap **** - That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways. Wet Cheeks **** Also known as "the Power dump" - That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water. Liquid **** -  the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, spashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute. Mexican Food **** -  A class all its own the Crowd Pleaser - This **** is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone. Mood Enhancer - This **** occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again. the Ritual - This **** occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper Guiness Book of Records **** - A **** so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations the aftershock **** - This **** has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected. the Honeymoon's over ****  - This is any **** created in the presence of another person. Groaner  - A **** so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance Floater- Characterized by its floatability, this **** has been known to resurface after many flushes Ranger - A **** which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper Phantom **** - This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there Peek-a-boo-**** -  Now you see it, now you don't. this **** is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control the bombshell -  A **** that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to **** (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities. Snake Charmer  - A long skinny **** which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless Olympic **** - This **** occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers ****.

haha lmao

<"Gee I wish I could shit" shit - Its the kind of shit where you want to shit, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.>

Does Gee get this one often?!

wow... thank you ... i know more about sh*t now...

Im_A_Bitch you educated me .... love you ....MAK MAK

IM_A

I must say this is some very good sh*t. you know.... it's not the same ole sh*t that I read everyday

maybe some of the best sh*t I have read in quite sometime

why is everyone talking **** today? ; )

and happy buddha day to you too

Lizardo; was that not May 9th???

alll i have to say is

you forgot the "Bite the woodwork ****".... far more painful than "the groaner"

and what about the "ring burner" after extra spicy vindaloo.

keep em coming Marc lol

What about theWindjammer s**t, hard and knotty and finally propelled out by a long noisy fart

Peter thats just nasty lol

What you call a fart that you try to sneak out and actually turns out to be a ****...in your pants that is :-P

"Sweetcorn ****" I never had one of those, am I the only one who chews my food?

3 basic descriptions for all occasions:

Constipation: Butt Rocks

Normal Flow: Butt Putty

The Runs: Butt Spray

Poul - admin covered this in a thread - is called a 'shart'

having this condition reminded me of something funny...

in Russian diarrhea is called Panos which translates to (there is so much ****) its up to your nose