So I’ve been back in the states for 3 months. Honestly, it feels as if I’ve been back for at least a year already. Against my own selfish wishes, I came here mostly for Jasmine. As strong as I know I am, it hasn’t been easy. On the same note, it hasn’t been that hard. My family and close friends are just a few hours away, and they have really helped during this huge transition.

Once I knew that I was returning here for sure, I began mentally preparing both Jeab and myself as much as I could. It was a waste of time and energy. Nothing can prepare a long-term expat from Thailand to come back west for good. There hasn’t been much in-depth writing on this subject as it’s all a huge learning and re-adjustment process. I haven’t blogged in four months as a result of the shock. I’m trying to learn as fast as I can for the benefit of all 3 of us (Yoma is naturally happy).

The two big things as always are family and work. The culture shock that we are going through is different than anything I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve traveled a lot. I can’t fully understand what Jeab is going through. I have this patriotic love for America that can’t leave my system. It’s my favorite country in the world, but holy %*^& is it *!$^ed up! It’s impossible not to be controlled by the media here, yet we laugh at how other countries are controlled by the media. People are preaching to only buy things from the USA without understanding what that really means. Everyone pretends to be health conscious, but we are the fattest country in the world. I could go on and on, but I might get labeled anti-American (I had to throw one more in for good measure).

On that same topic, Thais are the same way. You cannot pick apart the problems of Thailand without Thais getting insanely defensive. They also think they have the best country in the world, but I think every country shoves the positives down the people’s collective throat while pointing out the negatives of every other country. America has that down to (literally) a science. It’s only normal. The difference is that Americans have groups that actually work for real change while the Thais relax and hope things work out. America is about tomorrow. Thailand is about today.

Workwise, it hasn’t been what I expected. It’s my old friend from high school and I building a startup. It’s an education related company, and I know that both of our hearts are in it. He is incredibly intelligent, and has been teaching me to see the world in a completely different light. However, we barely meet or communicate as he is busy with other projects. When I build a company with someone, I’m used to spending countless hours with them either live or online until we realize we need a break from each other to keep our sanity. We push each other farther than we think we can go. If an e-mail doesn’t get answered or a call doesn’t get returned within a couple of hours, there had better be a good excuse.

His approach is different, and I’m trying to learn it. He has worked on what he loves and has made big change. I’ve worked on what I love…period. Thus, I’ve been trying to chill out and understand the way he works. Just recently, I’ve become more comfortable with it, and feel like I’m getting back to my productive self. I’m finding the love in my work that I’ve had in past projects, but this time it feels like I have the ability to help solve one of the biggest problems that the world is faced with (with my daughter being a direct beneficiary).

Regarding culture shock and work, I’m comparing two different approaches and finding the best way to move forward. The fact that they are both hitting me at the same time doesn’t make it easier, but I know that moving here was the best decision for everyone involved. The people are incredibly friendly, the surroundings are beautiful, and Jasmine and Yoma are happy.

We are working on getting Jeab’s green card here, which is a pain in the ass. It’s going to cost an arm and a leg, take about a year’s time if we’re lucky, but then we don’t have to worry about it again. Come February we’re going to move down the road to a nicer house along the river (with a real internet line). I know all of this moving isn’t good for Jasmine, but as long as we’re moving up I guess it’s ok. I’m trying to get her more socialized, but Jeab isn’t ready to join mommy groups yet and I’m too busy doing research for work during the day to accompany them. I’ve joined a pool league, but haven’t met anyone I’ve really clicked with. I’ve been trying to join some local symphonies, but haven’t gotten any replies…social life will come soon I guess.

Anyway, I just wanted to give an update as it’s been long overdue. We’re happy here. I really miss Thailand, but the strange thing is that I don’t want to go back at the moment. I think I just need to completely move on before I tease myself. It’s the first time I’ve been outside of Thailand and not wanted to go back. It’s comforting in a way as if I quit smoking cigarettes. I’m not saying Thailand is a bad thing, but interpret it in your own way.

Anyway, my daughter is happy and I see a big future in my work. The rest will follow as long as I keep everything in perspective.

Little Feets 31 ------->

(got blocked from my own site for posting a blog that's too long!)

A bit more:

We are working on getting Jeab’s green card here, which is a pain in the ass. It’s going to cost an arm and a leg, take about a year’s time if we’re lucky, but then we don’t have to worry about it again. Come February we’re going to move down the road to house along the river. I know all of this moving isn’t good for Jasmine, but things will work out. I’m trying to get her more socialized, but Jeab isn’t ready to join mommy groups yet and I’m too busy doing research for work during the day to accompany them. I’ve joined a pool league, and am trying to join a symphony here as well.

I just wanted to give an update as it’s been long overdue. We’re happy here. I really miss Thailand, but the strange thing is that I don’t want to go back at the moment. I think I just need to completely move on before I tease myself. It’s the first time in 8 years that I’ve been outside of Thailand and not wanted to go back.

Anyway, my daughter is happy and I see a big future in my work. The rest will follow as long as I keep everything in perspective.

...I am thinking this will be an interesting story and will stay tuned (thanks for sharing Rob)

...I am thinking this will be an interesting story and will stay tuned (thanks for sharing Rob)

Thanks, Danno...I have so much more to add, but just wanted to get something out. I have way too many thoughts and opinions and too little time to get it out clearly.

Excellent Rob, glad to hear you guys are adjusting well.

You double pasted your journal you noob. lol

Excellent Rob' date=' glad to hear you guys are adjusting well.

You double pasted your journal you noob. lol[/quote']

What?? People actually read this shit??

ok...think I fixed it.

I'm glad you put it in present perfect, Teddy. We're still adjusting. I had a dinner with a new friend before and he asked me, "So what have you been up to (over the past month or so)? I answered saying that we've been adjusting knowing that I needed to give more of an answer.

Seriously, though, I feel like 80% of my time so far has been spent adjusting to this new world.

I read it, I need to make sure you're not breaching your restraining order.

I'm going to write a journal on this as I think I'm in agreement on about 90% of what you wrote but going home and then coming back here a few months later is a mind-bender too. It's a bit of a roller coaster of emotions.

Thanks, Danno...I have so much more to add, but just wanted to get something out. I have way too many thoughts and opinions and too little time to get it out clearly.

Rob you can save alittle time by using my "style" of English spellings and grammer!

Rob you can save alittle time by using my "style" of English spellings and grammer!

I worry that people who haven't met me would think I was retarded, though most of the ones who have met me already do...

Great journal Rob. Part of your heart and soul will always be in Thailand; especially given Jeab and Jasmine. But I think you recognised that Thailand was in a bit of a mess just now, and sometimes we have to make decisions we are initially against, all for the sake of our loved ones (was going to quote Spock here on the needs of the many etc, but it would be a little geeky). It will be a real culture shock for Jeab; Jasmine will embrace new things the way any child does. But Jeab will grow to love the area and her new life, and I'm sure the 3 of you will be back in Thailand for the odd visit!

Yep good journal, Rob. Maybe you should do a self-help book for culture-shocked expats who have to move back home.

One thing I find interesting is the patriotism that Americans and Thais share, which you said is the norm.

What I find to be the norm about English expats is the eagerness to run down their country. Moaning about everything from the weather to taxes, from women to governments, to law and order and TV standards.

I, on the other hand, am proud to be English, hence my nickname and my motorbike - yes I know the bike is United Kingdom, but that was just because it was a more colourful flag.

I remember free schools with computers, gym equipment, language labs, playing fields, 25 kids to a class, school outings and foreign holidays (for a sum). I remember mainly courteous driving. Shop assistants who actually assisted! I remember policemen standing in front of drunken idiots, sighing, "Yes... Well that's enough of that nonsense. I suggest you go home and sleep it off."

I remember my wife falling sick and having major surgery within 24 hours in a top-class hospital for the total cost of 6 pounds (to pay for the prescription for her medicine).

I remember clean streets and well-maintained roads. Free libraries and museums. An Indian, Chinese and Fish and Chip shop every 2-3 miles. Great country pubs. Premier League football. Jumpers for goalposts, isn't it?

I know people will tell me about the shitty stuff... But I don't care. I love our pomp and circumstance, pageantry, history, rolling countryside, quaint villages and urban sprawls.

Engerland, Engerland, Engerland, Engerland, Engerland, Engerland!!!

(I'm not going back though... I like it here too!)

The thing about writing a self-help book for guys like me is that there are so few of us. Once you've been in Thailand for 5+ years, it's hard to go back...extremely hard. Very few of us do (and actually stay).

America is filled with a bunch of complainers as well, but that just means that we love our country. We complain to make it better (something the Thais find difficult to understand when we complain about Thailand).

If I didn't have Jasmine, there would be a 100% chance that I'd still be in Thailand right now. More reason for Dave to not want to have kids!

More reason for Dave to not want to have kids!

Like more reasons were needed(!)

Well at least it sounds like you have clarity...

and your eyes are not wide shut.

Dude, it's good to hear that you and your family are transitioning well. Are you guys getting used to the changing of the seasons. BTW, I can't believe how much your little has grown. She is adorable.

Happy Holidays to you and your family

Thanks GK. Still getting used to the seasons. Jasmine is changing so fast it's scary and amazing.

The transition is getting easier and easier everyday.

I can see that a kid has nothing to worry for any changes ^^ I can see the happiness from Jasmine's face. I believe that we can live happily anywhere else in the world if we are living with the beloved one.

Rob you're happy now as I can notice from your lovely story and pictures.