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R U BELIVE LOVE IN LONG DISTANCE???


Nazz
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It's always a little odd for the first couple of days back together. Making love definitely helps get you back on the same wavelength!

Yeah, having a plan is really important. You have to know when you will meet again, and it can't be too long apart. And don't lie! Saying you'll be back together again in 3 months, then extending it, and extending it... is no good and not fair to the other partner. With my gf I would say when I would be in Thailand again, I didn't leave too long a gap, and I stuck to it. Now the plan is for her to move here to do some post-grad studies and stay on legally in one way or another. We're both working on that so it gives us a common project which is also good.

when the cat's away, the mice will play

Well, you have to trust each other, and for that, you have to have spent enough time together to learn to trust each other. My gf and I are pretty much in contact daily, and both of us provide enough information for the other person about what we're up to so that suspicions don't have the chance to form. You have to volunteer that information, not always wait until asked. A good degree of openness is important to every relationship, but especially to a LDR where most of the time you're not sensing each other's feelings. To hide important things in such a situation and play games just makes it impossible.

--Ling

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Do you believe in God??

Something or someone that you cannot touch, taste,see,hear or smell.

If the answer is yes than long distance love is a reality. However reality is just but a moment. Everything changes and so does love long distance or close by....

Never stop dreaming as it is through dreams that we can climb to the top of the mountain. We will only know we have reached the top when we can go no further....

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if the concept of soulmate were true, then are'nt most of us compromising by settling for the next best thing? Perhaps another way to approach this is by understanding the motivations behind our seeking companionship.. we trust our gut instinct "this just feels right..." and plunge head on into the abyss hoping that through good times, trials and tribulations we become soulmates. As to long distance relationships, i think they require an extraordinary level of understanding,commitment and compromise from both sides, with the temptation to indulge being more abundant for guys :twisted: Perhaps that's why the concept of "OPEN RELATIONSHIPS" exists? Having said that i would give an arm and a leg to find my 'soulmate' and grow old with her...of course by then, medical advances would make it possible to re-attach my limbs back to my body again :roll: sweeet!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Long distance love can work if you have spent time together first and already fell in love. I don't think it can go on for very long though. You have to be with the person at some point. A large part of love is sharing experiences together and you can't do that from 5,000 miles away.

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i agree. at the end my frequent flyer account was the only winner in the long distance game. anyhow, after all i still believe it could work but only if before the parters had the chance to get to know each other good enough to build up a strong foundation of trust, emotion and shared experiences. whether a two week holiday in thailand is sufficient for this? I have my serious doubts about this (probably still would try again if i meet person that i believe to be the right one. the chances for long are not good but if you don't even try the chances will hardly get any better than zero.)

have a good day,all, no matter how far away you are

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i have experienced long distance....after almost 10 months apart from each other (meet occasionaly in between though)...we finally made it

it was harder than i expected....its the worst feeling of missing somebody but cant see him feel him touch him

and somtimes misunderstanding,doubts will get in our way....

but as long as u have faith in each other,nothing is impossible.....

so to all those who r having a long distance relationship: sun always comes back after the storm (at least its like that in shanghai...hehhe)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I also believe in long distant love. The essential stuff is u have to be honest and u have to trust the one that u love. Respect is important too in a relationship. About the long distance love, was happened to me, but I ended up with him with lotsa misunderstanding. I think the unhappier thing in my life is I lost him and he left me alone and unhappny in this universe. I really missed him and I hope he will come back to me once again, to brighten my whole world. I miss u Donald...please come back bebejai :cry:

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I believe in long distance love.

example; I love my mom and she loves me, she lives in new york and i live in thailand...... when i go out with girls as ALL men do, i dont have a problem and neither does my mom.

We are sexual creatures and it is core instinct to have sex with others even when your partners are around, never mind 1000's of miles away. Most of us will do it but say we dont.

Girls and guys u know it but out of sight out of mind. So all you gals "Wake up and smell the coffee!" We men cannot be trusted.

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kork.... sorry but I totally disagree with you.

Yes, a lot of guys have a problem keeping thier d**k in thier pants, but not ALL. I am in a LDR and the only hard part about it is the longing to be with her. The rest is pure chocolate. I trust her and I am sure she trusts me. I have no desire to "be romantic" with another woman although I do have women friends. It's simple, if you need to be romantic or have sex with other women, you are not in love so why would you keep the LDR going? We talk every day (or at least most days) on MSN/webcam. I also believe we are totally honest with each other which is crucial in order to maintain the trust. And yes, its important you plan to see each other regularly and work towards the day you can be together permanently.

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I've just joined Thailand Friends because I miss Thailand a lot. I've just come back from my second 3 month trip there. Even though both trips were 2 years apart our relationship has strenthened in the same way that a "normal" short distance one would. I met my girlfriend on my first trip and I admit the second trip really helped to give our relationship a more solid foundation. But the phone helped in the time in between!!! A huge factor in any relationship, as stated here already is trust. Perhaps the main way to build trust is openness and honesty. Once you've got trust sorted, easy to say, I know, you and your partner need to have a plan to keep your relationship strong. Some couples are comfortable with seeing each other for 2 weeks a year, or every six months. If your relationship is comfortable being casual, well then thats fine.....whatever works for both of you is the best path to take.

Personally I'd love to spend more time in Thailand with my girlfriend to build on our relationship but there's a very limited amount of options for some foreigners wishing to stay for extended periods of time. I don't know if I can survive teaching English, it can be tricky getting a reliable income for the uninitiated over there. On the other hand, I'd love her to come here but it's as tricky for her to come here to work (for those not in the know) as it is for me to relocate there. I know there are many, many people who have done one or both of the above but it's not easy. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that for me anyway, the problems I have with my long distance relationship are caused by beaurocracy (s.p.) and intergovernmental politics (longer visa, resedency etc.). But if the love is there I'll find a way.

On the point raised about the difficulties some people encounter with regards to remaining faithful to a long distance partner I agree that the distance is not the issue. Unless something happens to damage the relationship, someone entertaining thoughts of being unfaithful will eventually do it anyway. The distance perhaps just makes the it happen sooner rather than later!

I'd just like to say that it's comforting to find others that share a simular situation to ours. I can see I will enjoy my time as a member of this site.

Hope I'm not babbling (not too much anyway!!),

Kind regards,

Ig.

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I think in some cases long distant relationship can work.....but in many cases they fail. 'IF' i had a long distant relationship i'm quite positive it'd survive distance (probably i'm born a monogamy). But it depends if the two of you agree you are a couple or your partner just lead you on. Above all, it's not the distance that break you two apart, it is your inner insecurity and insatiability(in case you do have a new partner). 'IF' i'd ever had a long distant relationship twice a year would be just fine for me if thats all we got.

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  • 3 weeks later...

i've done the long distance thing; when i left shanghai last year i stayed with the girl i met there. in the end it didnt work out ... not because of distance.

bkk_maniac, one case where the sun didnt comes back after the storm in shanghai... maybe coz the girl was from beijing?? ;-)

you will still have the same problems you'd have in the same town, so choose wisely. and if you dont have a plan for how you're gonna end up together, give it up coz you cannot be long distance forever.

also i've heard stories where ppl meet online and make grand plans, without ever having met face-to-face. to me that's just crazy. you can become close to ppl online but for romantic stuff things are very different face to face than online when it comes to romance. however, once you HAVE hooked up and it works yahoo chat and msn are a gift straight from God.

and for those of us who have the kind of life where we don't spend 12 months a year in the same place, every relationship will be at least a little bit long distance.

BOTTOM LINE: it's not impossible, but ya gotta have a plan for how you're actually gonna end up together.

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