Aphrodite Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 As I watch 'sex and the city' too much, im wondering how many of u wanna get married or just be single for the rest of ur life? I mean u might not wanna get married but u actually live with someone. I dont know. it seems like someone really enjoy having sex with different ppl every night. Im just curious thats all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loburt Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 I don't know about commitment. But I'm afraid of being commited. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted October 24, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 I dont like my single life, but I never want to get married (again and again )so I want to live together, without the commitment of the ring so how many have u been married? u mean dont u enjoy ur marriage life? how is it different from single life? I think living together with someone is almost like uve been married with that person isnt it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangboy Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 Living with someone can be just as big a commitment as getting married (just without the legal hassles). It doesn't mean that you are sleeping with different people all the time. Different people view relationships in different ways. I personally think marriage is something that should be entered into only when you want to have a family. It doesn't really make sense to me if that's not your goal. I wouldn't want to force that opinion on others but it's how I feel. And not being married doesn't mean you are single. It just means you're not legally bound to someone. As for the spirituality of the union, that's something completely different. But you don't have to be married to experience that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loburt Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 I want to live together, without the commitment of the ring Yeah, I'm sick of those Ring movies too. I thought they were gonna stop after three. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted October 24, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 I personally think marriage is something that should be entered into only when you want to have a family. It doesn't really make sense to me if that's not your goal. I wouldn't want to force that opinion on others but it's how I feel. And not being married doesn't mean you are single. It just means you're not legally bound to someone. So hows about having a kid without marriage, is it still what u call a 'family' type of deal? Im technically not single but im not with anyone. Just the fact that im still in love with my ex and how we still linger to each other.. I dont know where to put myself in which category, single or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnno Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 so how many have u been married? u mean dont u enjoy ur marriage life? how is it different from single life? I think living together with someone is almost like uve been married with that person isnt it? if you are living together, there is not as much pressure to make things work. why do you think lawyers are so rich? from divorce settlement, of course you don't hear of "living together" settlements as much but i have seen that they are becoming more popular maybe you don't hear of them in thailand as much all a girl has to do now is say that we were living together as man and wife and have some proof of co-habitation for a period of time and the lawyers come running Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnno Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 well said sprite :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falangboy Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 Again, not being married doesn't mean you're single in anything but a legal sense. And even at that there are certain legalities that arise. Palimony is a growing legal business in the US. California and NY have pretty strict Palimony laws these days. As for wanting to live as a single person for a while and not enter into a committed relationship, that's your choice and you should enjoy it. But my own personal view/experience is that you don't really get a choice per say. Usually commitment blind sides you (in a a good way). One day you're hanging out with someone you like and living it up and the next you are an inseperable couple. My suggestion is don't set out to try one of these types of relationships, just live your life and you will experience them. Oh, one other thing, forgive me if I insulted those who have children out of wedlock. That was not my intention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted October 24, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 Well I used to live up with a guy for a year and a half. He took it as we're some soft of married couple. I dont think so. I mean marriage and living together are different. I mean living together is like a pre-life before real marriage cos u dont even know if ur marriage life is gonna be successful or not. This concerns so many things in a relationship such as how to deal with each other emotion, sex life etc. When ppl are living together, I believe somehow that our true nature reveals. It would be , i guess, a bit or so much different from the state when u were just bf/gf. I dont know I mean if i really met someone I think hes the right person, i would just wanna try to live up first and see how we're going down the hill together hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnno Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 my idea spite? i came from a time when all anyone wanted to do was get married i was married at 19 and stayed married for 21 years times have changed my eldest son has been living with his g/f for nearly 4 years now they are happy and have problems also but there is no pressure on them to stay married they stay together cos they want to, cos they enjoy each others company if they need some space for each other, they go back to their parents (except me of course, i am a bit far away) when they want to make a commitment to get married, they will my ex-wifes sister lived together with her partner for something like 15 years before they married (this was back in about 1970), very unusual for those times they eventually married and are still married now best advice i can give is....do whatever turns you on, you are the only one who has to live your life...you do whatever you are comfortable with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted October 24, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 wow ur married since ur 19!! ******* hell that was .. i dont know im impressed wow u must be so much in love with ur wife! seriously didnt u think that was too risky to get married at the early age? u know u have to consider of such a thing like if ur having a baby, then u need more moeny and stuffs. ur a real man wow wow wow lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnno Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 no no no noooooooo i WAS married for 21 years not now married too young, didn't know what i was looking for took me a long time to realise what i was after and now i am here trying to get the money back that i lost in the divorce so please don't even think that i am some sort of demi-god, i am just a chump doing time (here) But take your time, think a lot, Why, think of everything you've got. For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not. lyrics from father and son - cat stevens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovepygmy Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 I think actually that people love commitment. It's great being in a relationship and when you're in love then it's all good. The problem is that we are not good at 'managing' that commitment and I know from experience that it works best for me when there's a degree of independence - work, living in different places, time with friends as well as a partner etc. The one thing that should be constant is the fidelity - the whole GIK thing goes right against commitment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnno Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 my 2 cents worth a lot of men aren't scared of the marriage things cos all it means is they have someone waiting for them at home when they feel like going home but add a mouth to feed and that is a different story when its just 2, he is the centre of attraction add something small that requires the mothers attention and suddenly the man isn't the focus of the wife anymore he's left out, hes neglected, he can't get IT when he wants it anymore cos the mother is worn out from running after someone else it takes a VERY mature man to handle this different situation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
House Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 My opinion is I want to be married and commited. It is a chore at imes and the temptation to stray is strong at times but the security of a good partner is worth it to me. I was with a rancid ***** for seven years and I was put through sheer hell. But my concious is clean. I think men are not afraid to commit to the right woman. What is the right woman? Only that man knows for himself. But women if they run into a few bad seeds they are ruined for all others who follow and even though they may still want a commitment they will try and test and stray themselves if they have had too many bad relationships. It is sad but a fact that when looking for a commitment you take a very big risk because you expose yourself and can never know what will come of it until all the dust settles. Personally I have gone bacj to my roots dealing with women. I strictly stay honest with the people I deal with (but I know that telling the truth about what you want and what you do does not make what you want and what you do right and I try to do the right thing) I dont compromise on my own principles ie...if you lie to me about anything it over if you hit me for anything it is over if you cheat on me after we agree to be exclusive it is over. Yes I broke the rules in the past with other women and I paid dearly for it. Personally when I adhere to these rule my relationships go much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnno Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 a true story.... a friend (man) was married for 15 years 3 lovely kids he had good job she stayed at home because of the kids kids get older, went to school, started to look after themselves ok not as much for wife to do at home so she goes back to doing things she used to do before kids came along she joined tennis club and played a lot of tennis her tennis friends mostly divorced she starts to get unhappy with the marriage cos these other ladies have so much freedom now one year after wife going to tennis club, they are divorced and he is a gutted man cos he never saw this coming you can swap the man for the woman in this story, but this happens a lot you have to keep talking to each other and working to make a marriage work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 i voted a firm "i don't know". i suppose being american that identifies me clearly as a kerry supporter i havent been married, but almost married twice. i agree with ppl who say that the primary reason to get married is to have kids, and i havent made up my mind about kids. also considering one of the women i almost married is chinese (yeah f that's yang) her getting a visa to come here was one of the reasons that option came up quickly. also i'm not afraid of divorce, coz most of the women i've dated made more money than me, so i guess *they* should be afraid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted October 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 also i'm not afraid of divorce, coz most of the women i've dated made more money than me, so i guess *they* should be afraid LOL ur the only one I know who is not afraid of divorce. I mean I am! I think all women are the same. We just wanna get married once. No wonder why we're so picky. We just wanna make sure that hes the one who we are willing to take a risk with. I'm confused.The questions are about marriage. I'm not afraid of commitment, but I don't want to get married either. Well commitment is about marriage, is about when u decide to spend the rest of ur life with someone special. Im not sure if i interpretret it wrongly. But im sure its all about that ring! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malky Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 The questions are about marriage. I'm not afraid of commitment, but I don't want to get married either. I have to agree with you. Times are changing. 30/40 years ago marriage was a big thing but these days peoples attitude to marriage is changing. I think the reason peoples attitudes are changing is because you hear so many stories of unhappy marriages. It has a knock on effect, so for many people(especially men) the thought of gettin married no longer appeals. In my opinion It is still possible love and be loyal to someone without gettin married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hbkbkk Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 hmm... Bride and Groom or Elbow Room... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted October 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Sorry to say this but u might be looking at too much TV or at least too much crap TV? That program while sometimes mildly amusing is about as trite and unreal as it gets. Not really. I get what u mean tho. But Im sure that most TV series are based on reality, its ppl life in different place and time. Sex and the city is actually about ppl life in Mahattan. They are really like that. Also i think that it can be applicable to other places around the world. Well it seems that guys always think about sex sex sex while women would think about love and getting married. We just wanna be with someone we love, sex will come afterwards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnno Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 as opposed to dumb bored people with too much time on their hands who like everything dumbed down to the lowest level possible. yes and no. sometimes, after a hard day at the office or the golf course, i don't want to sit down and watch hardtalk or something like that, i want a stress break. so a good laugh from some stupid show is what i am looking for. but i know what you are saying, there is nothing more infuriating then overhearing a convesation and hearing "did you see that on.....(tv show) if that happened to me then i would ........." bloody hell, its a stupid tv show Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aphrodite Posted October 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Well committment is about marriage, is about when u decide to spend the rest of ur life with someone special. Im not sure if i interpretret it wrongly. But im sure its all about that ring! lol Sorry Filurina, but cannot agree with that. It's not all about marriage and the "ring". My sister has been with the same guy for 20 years. She met him soon after a divorce, and one of the first things she told him was that she would never marry again. Marriage itself is often a matter of conveniece more than of love or true personal committment. A ring is nothing more than a symbol and can be replaced by something else. That leaves two people, face to face...... nothing more. I know but thats my point of view about commitment. I know that I can just be with someone I love for the rest of my life without getting married as long as Im sure his love would never fade away. Just know that I never really have a marriage life so I cant actually talk about the difference of both issues. I only refer to what I heard, read and saw thats all. I know the ring is just a 'thing' but sometimes women need to secure the feeling of love that hes ALL mine, know what I mean. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnno Posted October 25, 2004 Report Share Posted October 25, 2004 Not really. I get what u mean tho. But Im sure that most TV series are based on reality, its ppl life in different place and time. Sex and the city is actually about ppl life in Mahattan. They are really like that. people in manhattan might be like that, i wouldn't have a clue. zeus, is this what reality is like? if that is reality, i am glad that i live in a dream world reality is what is happening to you now, today, this week fiction is what happens on tv, movies, stage plays always aim to improve what is happening to you in reality but don't get caught up trying to live in a dream world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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