ajarn Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Im reading this book at the moment about Thai / Farang relations. I have been living in Asia off and on for close to 6 years now but can appearently still learn new things about this / these wonderful country / culture / people. Hope you enjoy it. (still) Living & Learning C. :arrow: http://thailandfever.com/book_reviews.html#trink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 finished this book already ...it's a good book with 6 portion..not so hard if you want to get to know someone who live in difference country,culture,hehehe.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukhumvit_Farang Posted May 12, 2006 Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 I just finished reading this book last night. Very well thought out and very well written. My conclusion? If what it says is true, then Farang men and Thai women are basically, fundamentally, irreconcilably incompatible. If what it says is true, then the key to a successful marriage with a Thai woman is unconditional, unlimited handing over of money to the wife and her family, friends, distant relatives, etc. - and somehow feeling "proud" to do this! Not THIS farang! Ha! If this is true (and I would like to hear from our Thai friends on this website after they've read the book), then that explains a lot of things. For example, that explains why Thailand (or at least Isaan) is - and will forever remain undeveloped. When relations between people are based on the need to show unlimited, unrestrained "generosity", the result is that anyone who has any money will soon be relieved of it - and it will be frittered away by all and sundry - thereby reducing the accumulation of capital necessary for an economy to grow and prosper. In fact, according to human nature, if people know in advance that any money they accumulate will have to be "shared" with everyone, including deadbeat relatives, then they're never going to save any money in the first place. (This is why socialism always fails.) As a farang, I can judge the aspects of this book relating to the farang way of thinking. And for the most part I would have to say that the book is accurate in that regard. From having lived in Thailand for ten years, I can imagine that the Thai characteristics disclosed in this book could be accurate, but I can't really say for sure. Still, I will say it again: If what this books says about Thai attitudes towards the role of a husband is true, then the odds of a Thai/Farang relationship working out are very slim indeed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted May 12, 2006 Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 (This is why socialism always fails.) socialism seems to be doing quite well in scandinavia, i think you mean communism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMG_UK Posted May 12, 2006 Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 "Marriage to ... farmer's daughter means a kind of down payment (bride price) and then monthly installments (or the girl will be immediately 'repossessed') unless the couple wisely de-Siam to another locale." From Siam Smiles - Secrets of the Thais Hugh Watson There lies your answer. If you want to stop sundry relatives dreaming of new houses and BMW's, decamp out of Smileland as soon as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted May 12, 2006 Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 Normally they will call it liberals where the state have a social responcibilty towards its citizen, instead of leaving this to private organisations. last i knew that was called socialism, guess it depends on where you went to school. probably you guys call it something different since your'e actually doing it since the so-called 'socialist' states like the former soviet union gave the word a bad, bad name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttesta Posted May 12, 2006 Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 If I had to write a book about relationships in Western countries, I would come to the conclusion that they are a mess because many people are not able to sustain healthy relations with others for a long time. If I had to write a book about relationships in Thailand I would come to the same conclusion except that everything is even worse. I really don?t see where the ?culture? thing comes in except that the reasons why people cannot have healthy relationships differ. But what does it matter when the result is the same?? People who do not posses the traits necessary to have long-term relationships (based on universal principles like trust, for instance) will fail to do so in any ?culture?. People who blame cultural differences as a reason for the failure of relationships are still thinking in sectarian terms and therefore, don't see the real reasons ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeusbheld Posted May 12, 2006 Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 Normally they will call it liberals where the state have a social responcibilty towards its citizen, instead of leaving this to private organisations. last i knew that was called socialism, guess it depends on where you went to school. probably you guys call it something different since your'e actually doing it since the so-called 'socialist' states like the former soviet union gave the word a bad, bad name. Yes I went to school in a country that at time got a social democratic goverment, but that is far from Marx and Lenin, as I explained before the socialist ideal is the state is the center, which is far from the visions of social democratic ideals. I have met US citizens living now are living and working in Denmark, they also thought before they arrived we were a socialist country, but by time they learned the big difference. well what we were taught was that lenin and marx are communism, not socialism and socialism doesn't necessarily have anything to do with them. socialism is what you guys do according to the macroeconomics class i took in college--government-subsidized education, healthcare, childcare, etc. it does not preclude democracy or a market economy. but it does imply a rather substantial tax burden. as you might guess, by that standard, even england is considered somewhat socialist. IMO it works a hell of a lot better than the current US approach. i think that US universities should adopt the term 'social democratic' as americans associate 'socialism' with marx et al. marxism can also be democratic btw. there's nothing in marx that says you need a dictator prick like stalin in charge, but perhaps it's inevitable since no one has come close to making communism work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajarn Posted May 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 Gilgamish_II wrote: "Books and facts are very far from reality... living in it give correct answers..." While its true that "living life" teaches you more about it than reading about other's life I still think we can "learn" from books. Reading about the mistakes and lessons learned by other people means we dont repeat the mistakes ourselves. Ofcause we must "trust" that what they say is actually true as we have not made the experience ourselves. In the case of "Thailand Fever" I wish i had known about: - Generosity (naam jai) vs. "Cant buy me love" - Telling the Truth (confrontation) vs. Saving Face - Independence vs. Family First - Meeting the Thai Family As I mentioned before I have been here a while (but never had a serious Thai GF before) and I personally wish I had read the books before I fell into some of these "Cultural Pit Falls" instead of learning about them "the Hard Way" Saladin wrote: "People who do not posses the traits necessary to have long-term relationships (based on universal principles like trust, for instance) will fail to do so in any ?culture?. People who blame cultural differences as a reason for the failure of relationships are still thinking in sectarian terms and therefore, don't see the real reasons ?" Sure, there is no love without trust but we are who we are (and have the values we have) because of our culture (and a ton of other things). See the "lessons learned" above. Sukhumvit_Farang wrote: "As a farang, I can judge the aspects of this book relating to the farang way of thinking. And for the most part I would have to say that the book is accurate in that regard. From having lived in Thailand for ten years, I can imagine that the Thai characteristics disclosed in this book could be accurate, but I can't really say for sure." True and nor can I (but would like to know too) Post Scriptum Zeusbeheld wrote: ..a dictator prick like stalin.. At least you guys keep the "flaming" / name calling to Dead Dictators...I guess I can live with that! :wink: ..Living With It! C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr_Sassy Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Uhmm I really wanna read this book... wanted to buy but its so expensive at the airport. Always love this kind of book. Can always laugh and smile about those stories Will buy it soon. And yes... book and reality can be similar or different but it gives us some new perspectives Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joecy Posted May 25, 2006 Report Share Posted May 25, 2006 the impression of socialism remains me to this blog-comment, A WORLD WITH NO "I" http://www.thai-blogs.com/index.php?blog=7&p=945&more=1&c=1&tb=1&pb=1 But the end of the I world and the beginning of the WE society, its sometimes difficult for a farang, to understand the different frequencies of this hirachic society structure. Im living in Hannover, Germany for about 15 years close to a thai community of about 4.000 thai ppl., where the community structure builded up a much smaller hirachy, but much easier for a farang to learn the principle. See it as a 100 candels on a christmas-tree, where every candel represents a cercain level in this community, but inside of every candel, there is a different way, how a farang will be treated. So, also most of the books, written by farangs, about the Thai society, only represents the experience of the cercain farang, and his access to his certain candellights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajarn Posted May 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2006 So, also most of the books, written by farangs, about the Thai society, only represents the experience of the cercain farang Thailand Fever by Chris Pirazzi and Vitida Vasant 258 pp, 2004 Paiboon paperback Available at Asia Books and leading book stores, 495 baht ..I guess you could say this book still only tells the story from one farangs point of view but at least he got his Thai GF/ wife to give us the (other one sided) womans side too.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joecy Posted May 25, 2006 Report Share Posted May 25, 2006 So, also most of the books, written by farangs, about the Thai society, only represents the experience of the cercain farang Thailand Fever by Chris Pirazzi and Vitida Vasant 258 pp, 2004 Paiboon paperback Available at Asia Books and leading book stores, 495 baht ..I guess you could say this book still only tells the story from one farangs point of view but at least he got his Thai GF/ wife to give us the (other one sided) womans side too.. His Thai GF or wife knew, that this book was mainly adressed to farang readers, so, its not a translation of a thai book, that was adressed to thai ppl.. What Thais are good at Westerners are good at making the intangible visible. For example, they are able to document concepts of skill building into manuals. On the other hand, Thais are better at making visible things invisible. For example, we are good at making that manual disappear and with good reason! source : How Thais can make the visible invisible! http://www.apmforum.com/columns/thai38.htm So, its all about the sort of filter, ching, mai prau, to lead s.o. to the hidden message. On the other hand, writting for farang readers, without explaining, between kau mai dai and kau dai, its really difficult. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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