LakeGeneve Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Because of the Thai reluctance to confront issues or communicate in a direct clear manner, one of the most common problems I see is 'passive/aggressive' behavior. In its extreme this can lead to mental abuse (as above).I think every argument i ever had with my ex (including the insane violence and anger from her as well) had NOTHING to do with the subject of the argument at the time. Things continue to lie and fester under the surface and just don't get talked about or confronted..(Thai Way) then one day.. BANG!....out of nowhere, over something seemingly so trivial, world war 3 erupts for no reason. Everyone will agree that good communication is the key to any relationship. It takes work, commitment and a willingness to confront ones own perceptions, social conditioning and accepted ideas. A cross cultural relationship is even harder and encompasses many more challenges thereby making open and honest communication even more important. Even more acute if there is a power imbalance involved in the relationship - not suggesting this for you both Marc. This may takes years and years for some couples/communities and some seem to have done well after a lot of hard work. Meanwhile, the love road is littered with numerous cases of people who just couldn't culturally or emotionally understand each other or got sick of trying to second guess every single thing their partner was thinking and/or why they did such and such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeeMarc Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Because of the Thai reluctance to confront issues or communicate in a direct clear manner, one of the most common problems I see is 'passive/aggressive' behavior. In its extreme this can lead to mental abuse (as above).I think every argument i ever had with my ex (including the insane violence and anger from her as well) had NOTHING to do with the subject of the argument at the time. Things continue to lie and fester under the surface and just don't get talked about or confronted..(Thai Way) then one day.. BANG!....out of nowhere, over something seemingly so trivial, world war 3 erupts for no reason. Everyone will agree that good communication is the key to any relationship. It takes work, commitment and a willingness to confront ones own perceptions, social conditioning and accepted ideas. A cross cultural relationship is even harder and encompasses many more challenges thereby making open and honest communication even more important. Even more acute if there is a power imbalance involved in the relationship - not suggesting this for you both Marc. This may takes years and years for some couples/communities and some seem to have done well after a lot of hard work. Meanwhile, the love road is littered with numerous cases of people who just couldn't culturally or emotionally understand each other or got sick of trying to second guess every single thing their partner was thinking and/or why they did such and such. agree wholeheartedly. But I might add... you can lead a horse to water, but ya cant make em drink. BOTH parties need to want to do the work involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olympos Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 CAN SOMEONE ***P L E A S E*** FIX THIS PROBLEM..."no post exist for this forum" I heard on forums 3 weeks ago that it is fixed. No... not fixed. might be "off topic", sorry... just wanna let admin know that i have seen the same error message more than once - "no post exist for this forum" - but it does! I am getting this error when clicking from "community" page directly on any forum or journal topics. cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 - Deal Breakers -Everybody is different, many people are able to tolerate and are able to forgive the flaw in relationships more than the others. Sometimes you have to say enough IS enough. Where is your limitation? or do you think you can change a person and that you can help him or her to be a better person? What do you think are relationship deal breakers? - Physical Abuse = Either your boyfriend or your girlfriend hit you and hurt you, assult you or injure bodily harming you psychically. A b*tch slap counts. this also include domestic violent and rape. - Mental Abuse = To you and people around you. everything is your fault, you are always wrong, what you think and your feelings are somehow insignificant. He/she goes from hot or cold ,walking on eggshells. You are 'afraid' of your partner. - Infidelity = Both emotionally and sexually infidelity. Cheating boyfriend or girlfriend/ unfaithfulness spouses. adultery, extra marital affairs. secret lovers. even to emotionally involved in online relationships. - Drugs & Alcohol Abuse = Alcoholism, drugs addicted. They only tell that they love you when they are intoxicated. - Financially Abuse = financially undependable/ financially depending, shopaholic, Broke, addicted to gambling, jobless ,high in debt. Etc. ??? I go for Alcohol/drugs abuse as it will lead to everything you mention, Tonia. Helping a parther with alcohol /drugs problem is a life time project. You have to take one step at a time and the best way is get professional helps. You can't do that alone, trust me. disagree to an extent Nicky. It CAN lead to the other abuses, not necessarily WILL. Three definitional tiers to people with drugs or alcohol problems; addict, addict in recovery, and recovered addict. But the word addict always remains and yes, they will always need support but many people can and will stay drugs or alcohol free without relapse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandorea Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 - Deal Breakers -Everybody is different, many people are able to tolerate and are able to forgive the flaw in relationships more than the others. Sometimes you have to say enough IS enough. Where is your limitation? or do you think you can change a person and that you can help him or her to be a better person? What do you think are relationship deal breakers? - Physical Abuse = Either your boyfriend or your girlfriend hit you and hurt you, assult you or injure bodily harming you psychically. A b*tch slap counts. this also include domestic violent and rape. - Mental Abuse = To you and people around you. everything is your fault, you are always wrong, what you think and your feelings are somehow insignificant. He/she goes from hot or cold ,walking on eggshells. You are 'afraid' of your partner. - Infidelity = Both emotionally and sexually infidelity. Cheating boyfriend or girlfriend/ unfaithfulness spouses. adultery, extra marital affairs. secret lovers. even to emotionally involved in online relationships. - Drugs & Alcohol Abuse = Alcoholism, drugs addicted. They only tell that they love you when they are intoxicated. - Financially Abuse = financially undependable/ financially depending, shopaholic, Broke, addicted to gambling, jobless ,high in debt. Etc. ??? I go for Alcohol/drugs abuse as it will lead to everything you mention, Tonia. Helping a parther with alcohol /drugs problem is a life time project. You have to take one step at a time and the best way is get professional helps. You can't do that alone, trust me. disagree to an extent Nicky. It CAN lead to the other abuses, not necessarily WILL. Three definitional tiers to people with drugs or alcohol problems; addict, addict in recovery, and recovered addict. But the word addict always remains and yes, they will always need support but many people can and will stay drugs or alcohol free without relapse. and I tend to agree with you. I was taking from my own experience not from professional point of view, btw. Supporting people with addiction problem is a damn hard duty. You can easily loose it. Drinking can be fun when you drink responsibly but once you go over the limit it will detroy you. I have seen some alzheimer/dementia from alcohol abuse. I thought alzheimer/dementia happend when some senior citizens only, but you can suffer from alzheimer/dementia by alcohol also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 - Deal Breakers -Everybody is different, many people are able to tolerate and are able to forgive the flaw in relationships more than the others. Sometimes you have to say enough IS enough. Where is your limitation? or do you think you can change a person and that you can help him or her to be a better person? What do you think are relationship deal breakers? - Physical Abuse = Either your boyfriend or your girlfriend hit you and hurt you, assult you or injure bodily harming you psychically. A b*tch slap counts. this also include domestic violent and rape. - Mental Abuse = To you and people around you. everything is your fault, you are always wrong, what you think and your feelings are somehow insignificant. He/she goes from hot or cold ,walking on eggshells. You are 'afraid' of your partner. - Infidelity = Both emotionally and sexually infidelity. Cheating boyfriend or girlfriend/ unfaithfulness spouses. adultery, extra marital affairs. secret lovers. even to emotionally involved in online relationships. - Drugs & Alcohol Abuse = Alcoholism, drugs addicted. They only tell that they love you when they are intoxicated. - Financially Abuse = financially undependable/ financially depending, shopaholic, Broke, addicted to gambling, jobless ,high in debt. Etc. ??? I go for Alcohol/drugs abuse as it will lead to everything you mention, Tonia. Helping a parther with alcohol /drugs problem is a life time project. You have to take one step at a time and the best way is get professional helps. You can't do that alone, trust me. disagree to an extent Nicky. It CAN lead to the other abuses, not necessarily WILL. Three definitional tiers to people with drugs or alcohol problems; addict, addict in recovery, and recovered addict. But the word addict always remains and yes, they will always need support but many people can and will stay drugs or alcohol free without relapse. and I tend to agree with you. I was taking from my own experience not from professional point of view, btw. Supporting people with addiction problem is a damn hard duty. You can easily loose it. Drinking can be fun when you drink responsibly but once you go over the limit it will detroy you. I have seen some alzheimer/dementia from alcohol abuse. I thought alzheimer/dementia happend when some senior citizens only, but you can suffer from alzheimer/dementia by alcohol also. Completely right Nicky. The 'type' of alzheimers that usually comes earlier as a result of alcohol abuse is called Korsakoff Syndrome. Korsakoff's syndrome is a brain disorder usually associated with heavy alcohol consumption over a long period. Historically it has also been called 'Korsakoff's psychosis', although this can be confusing, as there are no true psychotic symptoms in the medical sense. Sometimes it is referred to as 'alcohol amnestic syndrome' 'amnestic' meaning loss of memory; although in rare cases alcohol is not the cause. Although Korsakoff's syndrome is not strictly speaking a dementia, people with the condition experience loss of short-term memory. This factsheet outlines the causes, symptoms and treatment of the syndrome. http://alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/438 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandorea Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 - Deal Breakers -Everybody is different, many people are able to tolerate and are able to forgive the flaw in relationships more than the others. Sometimes you have to say enough IS enough. Where is your limitation? or do you think you can change a person and that you can help him or her to be a better person? What do you think are relationship deal breakers? - Physical Abuse = Either your boyfriend or your girlfriend hit you and hurt you, assult you or injure bodily harming you psychically. A b*tch slap counts. this also include domestic violent and rape. - Mental Abuse = To you and people around you. everything is your fault, you are always wrong, what you think and your feelings are somehow insignificant. He/she goes from hot or cold ,walking on eggshells. You are 'afraid' of your partner. - Infidelity = Both emotionally and sexually infidelity. Cheating boyfriend or girlfriend/ unfaithfulness spouses. adultery, extra marital affairs. secret lovers. even to emotionally involved in online relationships. - Drugs & Alcohol Abuse = Alcoholism, drugs addicted. They only tell that they love you when they are intoxicated. - Financially Abuse = financially undependable/ financially depending, shopaholic, Broke, addicted to gambling, jobless ,high in debt. Etc. ??? I go for Alcohol/drugs abuse as it will lead to everything you mention, Tonia. Helping a parther with alcohol /drugs problem is a life time project. You have to take one step at a time and the best way is get professional helps. You can't do that alone, trust me. disagree to an extent Nicky. It CAN lead to the other abuses, not necessarily WILL. Three definitional tiers to people with drugs or alcohol problems; addict, addict in recovery, and recovered addict. But the word addict always remains and yes, they will always need support but many people can and will stay drugs or alcohol free without relapse. and I tend to agree with you. I was taking from my own experience not from professional point of view, btw. Supporting people with addiction problem is a damn hard duty. You can easily loose it. Drinking can be fun when you drink responsibly but once you go over the limit it will detroy you. I have seen some alzheimer/dementia from alcohol abuse. I thought alzheimer/dementia happend when some senior citizens only, but you can suffer from alzheimer/dementia by alcohol also. Completely right Nicky. The 'type' of alzheimers that usually comes earlier as a result of alcohol abuse is called Korsakoff Syndrome. Korsakoff's syndrome is a brain disorder usually associated with heavy alcohol consumption over a long period. Historically it has also been called 'Korsakoff's psychosis', although this can be confusing, as there are no true psychotic symptoms in the medical sense. Sometimes it is referred to as 'alcohol amnestic syndrome' 'amnestic' meaning loss of memory; although in rare cases alcohol is not the cause. Although Korsakoff's syndrome is not strictly speaking a dementia, people with the condition experience loss of short-term memory. This factsheet outlines the causes, symptoms and treatment of the syndrome. http://alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/438 Can I just say alcohol is liquid devil? No one gets anything good from drinking it. Anti Alcohol!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Moobs Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Can I just say alcohol is liquid devil? No one gets anything good from drinking it. Anti Alcohol!!!!!!!! I've got a hell of a lot of great memories that I can't remember from alcohol. :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin_2 Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 - Deal Breakers -Everybody is different, many people are able to tolerate and are able to forgive the flaw in relationships more than the others. Sometimes you have to say enough IS enough. Where is your limitation? or do you think you can change a person and that you can help him or her to be a better person? What do you think are relationship deal breakers? - Physical Abuse = Either your boyfriend or your girlfriend hit you and hurt you, assult you or injure bodily harming you psychically. A b*tch slap counts. this also include domestic violent and rape. - Mental Abuse = To you and people around you. everything is your fault, you are always wrong, what you think and your feelings are somehow insignificant. He/she goes from hot or cold ,walking on eggshells. You are 'afraid' of your partner. - Infidelity = Both emotionally and sexually infidelity. Cheating boyfriend or girlfriend/ unfaithfulness spouses. adultery, extra marital affairs. secret lovers. even to emotionally involved in online relationships. - Drugs & Alcohol Abuse = Alcoholism, drugs addicted. They only tell that they love you when they are intoxicated. - Financially Abuse = financially undependable/ financially depending, shopaholic, Broke, addicted to gambling, jobless ,high in debt. Etc. ??? I go for Alcohol/drugs abuse as it will lead to everything you mention, Tonia. Helping a parther with alcohol /drugs problem is a life time project. You have to take one step at a time and the best way is get professional helps. You can't do that alone, trust me. disagree to an extent Nicky. It CAN lead to the other abuses, not necessarily WILL. Three definitional tiers to people with drugs or alcohol problems; addict, addict in recovery, and recovered addict. But the word addict always remains and yes, they will always need support but many people can and will stay drugs or alcohol free without relapse. and I tend to agree with you. I was taking from my own experience not from professional point of view, btw. Supporting people with addiction problem is a damn hard duty. You can easily loose it. Drinking can be fun when you drink responsibly but once you go over the limit it will detroy you. I have seen some alzheimer/dementia from alcohol abuse. I thought alzheimer/dementia happend when some senior citizens only, but you can suffer from alzheimer/dementia by alcohol also. Completely right Nicky. The 'type' of alzheimers that usually comes earlier as a result of alcohol abuse is called Korsakoff Syndrome. Korsakoff's syndrome is a brain disorder usually associated with heavy alcohol consumption over a long period. Historically it has also been called 'Korsakoff's psychosis', although this can be confusing, as there are no true psychotic symptoms in the medical sense. Sometimes it is referred to as 'alcohol amnestic syndrome' 'amnestic' meaning loss of memory; although in rare cases alcohol is not the cause. Although Korsakoff's syndrome is not strictly speaking a dementia, people with the condition experience loss of short-term memory. This factsheet outlines the causes, symptoms and treatment of the syndrome. http://alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/438 I agree, but at least Kyoto Koala has entertaining posts. :shock: Wait...what are we talking about again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugo Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Can I just say alcohol is liquid devil? No one gets anything good from drinking it. Anti Alcohol!!!!!!!! Do you think of someone special here? :winky: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stramash Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 sh*t - I have forgotten what colour my tent is... :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandorea Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Can I just say alcohol is liquid devil? No one gets anything good from drinking it. Anti Alcohol!!!!!!!! Do you think of someone special here? :winky: you!!! --------------> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Moobs Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 sh*t - I have forgotten what colour my tent is... :shock: it's pink...and orange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugo Posted July 25, 2009 Report Share Posted July 25, 2009 Can I just say alcohol is liquid devil? No one gets anything good from drinking it. Anti Alcohol!!!!!!!! Do you think of someone special here? :winky: you!!! --------------> You definitely got the wrong picture! Oh, and the wrong guy! I don't drink much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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